(Sirius was a cocksure marauder guy) Personality END
by I Wish I Could Go To Hogwarts
Summary: That was what most people thought, though they liked him. Funny, rebellious, confident. Only his closest friends have seen more than that. This is Sirius Black's story, behind the mask of the most popular boy in the school. This tells how he broke away from his family, and their prejudice; how he hid his insecurities; how he made three lifelong friends.
1. Toothpaste advert issues

Sirius Black thought the Muggle advertisement flashing up on the billboard was stupid. As well as being boring and repetitive. If he had to gape at the toothpaste advert any longer, he would scream.

"You're not looking at that Muggle rubbish, are you?" his father snapped.

Sirius suppressed a grin. _Finally._ Most of the time, his family treated him like he wasn't there. Even on his first day at Hogwarts, as they stood waiting formally, it was perfect little Regulus they looked at. The only certain way to get their attention was to pretend to be interested in Muggles or Mudbloods, though slouching and spitting sometimes worked.

Now the whole family was staring at him.

"I'm sure," Narcissa said smoothly. "Sirius is only wondering how primitive these Muggles are, nothing more." She smiled at him, quite sweetly.

"Primitive?" Sirius said in mock surprise. "Why, I think they're genius. Toothpaste was a Muggle invention, and it's brilliant. One hundred times less painful than a teeth-whitening charm, and that Muggle girl is completely beautiful."

Actually, the toothpaste girl looked a bird had pooed yellow over her head. Sirius didn't realise it could be more obvious someone had died their hair, or that it could look so bad. But if you went cross-eyed, and imagined she had a normal smile instead of one that showed both rows of sparkling white teeth, she looked beautiful. So Sirius hadn't been lying, at all.

There was a silence in which the whole family gaped at him, then all hell broke lose. His mum screamed, both hands clasped over her mouth. Narcissa leapt a foot in the air, with a startled gasp, and legs giving way beneath her, collapsed onto a bench. Regulus' mouth fell open, and he stared, like a fish, at Sirius. Bellatrix and Sirius' father both lunged forward:

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK-," Sirius's father yelled.

"YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A BLACK-," Bellatrix shouted.

"ARE YOU MAD?"

"DISGRACING PURE-BLOOD WIZARDS-."

Everyone in the station turned to stare at them. Sirius tried very, very hard to keep a straight face, but it was impossible. He met Andromeda's eye, and they both doubled up, laughing.

"I was joking, guys," Sirius said. "Joking!"

Smirking, Sirius grabbed his trunk and wheeled it away, hurried through the barrier between platform nine and three-quarters. Immediately, the Muggle world faded into nothing, leaving only a wall behind him. Relieved, he began to struggle through the crowds, listening to the babble of voices, the squawks of owls, the roar of the engine before it departed.

His relief didn't last for long. Bellatrix appeared moments later, brandishing her wand, eyes combing the station for him. He ducked down, and waited for to leave, but in doing so, knocked his truck to the floor with a clatter. Bellatrix looked towards the new noise. Sirius found himself staring up into Bellatrix's livid black eyes.

Hurling his trunk up again, Sirius turned on his heels and ran. There was no way he wanted to face Bellatrix when she was this angry.

"Catch me if you can," he shouted.

"You'll be sorry," Bellatrix shouted back.

Sirius could barely hear what she was saying through the roaring of the wind against his face and the noise of the station. But whatever she was saying, he had no wish to find out. He wove through the crowd, knocking people flying, calling "sorry, sorry!" to the indignant witches and wizards who he pushed to the side. He ran twice round the Hogwarts Express before finding a door to a compartment, and dodging down- if Bellatrix saw he'd be trapped like a mouth- before he scrambled inside.


	2. A friend called James Potter

The carriage was occupied by a boy with messy black hair, and a wide-awake look in his eyes, behind a pair of thick rimmed glasses. He was lazing on one of the seats, eating chocolate frogs.

"Hurry up, you came in so slowly," said the boy cheekily, as Sirus flung himself against a wall, slamming the door behind him.

Sirius hadn't banked on there being anyone in the carriage, which was stupid, really, seeing as it was the closest carriage to the barrier. He wondered briefly if he could scare the boy out, acting like he was older. Sirius knew he could pass for fourteen or fifteen, and had, wondering the streets near his house, but he doubted the boy would go. His legs were sprawled across a feet, and there was a huge piles of sweets and chocolate on the seat opposite; he didn't look like he was going anywhere soon.

Bellatrix was running after him, furious...

Sirius sank into a seat, panting. "Hide me!" he said. He realised how stupid and pathetic he sounded the moment he said it, and grinned widely, trying to make it into a joke.

"I stopped playing hide and seek when _I _was four," the boy said, adopting a kingly expression. "_So_ immature."

"It's my cousin; she's a madman," Sirius explained. Sirius' eyes drifted to the pile of chocolate frogs, and one hand sneaked round them, covering it. He didn't want to change the subject towards food, by asking, but it would seem pretty rude to nick it without. God, was he hungry, though. Kretcher's food was sloppy and disgusting and unchocolaty.

"That's offensive," said the boy, sniffing. "Acting like the mad aren't proper people. My name's James, by the way. James Potter. And you're-."

"Sirius Black," Sirius said. "But anyway, I need to hide. My cousin's crazy- er, mad at me, that's not offensive, not offensive- and she wants my guts. Unless you want me to killed, hide me." He grinned again, to show he was still joking about, even if he wasn't. Sirius wasn't so keen on everyone knowing his family was so dark and twisted and coldly brilliant. It was a lot easier to make friends if it looked like you came from a happy family of mum, dad, and 2.4 children.

"Okay," James said. "The blood would ruin the couch, I guess."

In his frenzy, Sirius had hardly realised what James Potter had been saying, but as he dropped down into a chair, it sank in.

"Sarcastic, aren't you?" Sirius said, grinning genuinely this time.

"It's in my blood," said James Potter, rumpling up his hair, and unwrapping a chocolate frog. "I suppose you're serious now, but I'll cure you soon."

Sirius laughed. Normally, people accused him of not being serious enough, of being a disappointment, of needing to grow up.

"Being called Sirius, is my family's wish fulfilment gone wrong," Sirius said.

Sirius was a rebel, and somehow James Potter didn't seem like the sort who'd dance dutifully with any pure-blood bitch, at his family's balls. Sirius didn't either, most of the time, though sometimes he'd ballroom dance with a girl, hoping for approval. He didn't get it often, but sometimes Bellatrix would catch his eye and nod and even smile. Sirius would smile back, and after that, he wouldn't mind the dances so much.

99% of the time he'd throw stink-bombs at Kretcher, and deliberately spill champagne over Angela Greengrass- a blonde pure-blood his family wanted him to marry- overly posh dresses. In fact, each time he had to go to a ball, he'd try to cause more havoc. If James Potter was pure-blood, he might just get into a ball, and they could have fun. Sirius looked sideways at James Potter, thinking. James was confident and funny and clever in a way no Muggle could be. Maybe a half-blood?

"Yeah, about blood," Sirius said. "You are a pure-blood, right?"

"I'm pure-blood," James confirmed. "What about it?"

"Nothing. Good," said Sirius, immensely relieved. He should have asked straight away, really, just in case he starting befriending a Muggle, but it was okay. No harm done. "I thought so; I was just making sure," he added, noticing James' face, which had darkened, his eyes flashing. "It wasn't an insult or anything. What?"

James could be serious, it turned out. The smile was completely gone from his face, and he was watching Sirius wearily.

"Heading to Slytherin?" James sneered. "Making sure you don't make friends with a Muggle-born, right?"

Confused, Sirius opened his mouth, then shut it again. James was a blood traitor, and a Muggle-lover- or at least, that's what his Mum would call him. He thought of Bellatrix, looking for him, cursing him, and knew what she would do now. Bellatrix wasn't always nice, but oh did she could leave her mark. Sirius imagined her, getting to her feet, hair whipping over her shoulder. She'd raise her wand, and slash James across the face, like she'd done to him. And before James could fight back, she'd slash again, and again, and only when he was crumpled on the floor, would she sweep out.

Sirius couldn't do that, yet. He could punch James though, taunt him, attack him without magic. He smiled suddenly. How ironic, he was thinking of descending to Muggle level because James loved Muggles.

"You seemed pretty decent," James said. "Didn't think you were some death eater wannable."

"I'm not!" Sirius cried. It was automatic.. he was from a good pure family, but he wouldn't support Voldemort (he always called him Voldemort, because every time he did, his family would explode). Voldemort was a freaking murderer! "Look, fight this out with Bellatrix, she's my cousin and like I said, a madman, not me. I don't believe their messed-up views, okay? I only asked you because I wanted to see if I could make my family mad, if you were Mud-ggle-born. Keep your hair on!"

James paused, then smiled. "Well, you're an idiot for asking like that. Makes people think the wrong thing."

"Oh, I'm an idiot, am I?" Sirius challenged. He ripped open the chocolate frog and ate it. He reckoned they were at the almost-friendship where he could do that; and besides James didn't see. Sirius ate another.

"You don't know?" James asked. "Well, that is idiotic."

"You're an over-reacting drama queen," Sirius said. "And paranoid. Assuming I was some sort of-."

James pointed accusingly to a badge on Sirius' top. "At least I don't support the Holyheads."

"What do you support, Chudley Cannons?"

"Well- yeah. They'll make a comeback-."

Sirius coughed. "'Let's all keep our finger's crossed..."** (1)**

"Y'know there's dirt on your badge," James said. "Dirt all over Holyheads..."

Sniggering, they doubled up, Sirius whistling. Then he straightened up, and said, smirking "Only because you touched it."

They fell about laughing again, and high-fived. "Touché," James said, between laughs. "I'll give you that one."

Sirius leant back against the window, stuffing another frog into his mouth, as James turned away. Smiling to himself, he looked out the window, surveying the familes

"Hey, James, look that guy is actually crying," Sirius said. "The pwoor leetle babby."

"That was like my Mum," James said. "Only just got away from her.."

Sirius scowled. "You a pwoor leetle babby too?"

"Shut it," James said calmly.

Sirius shrugged, and turned back towards the window, and James watched him lazily. There were so many families there, and they were all crying or laughing or hugging, it seemed. He noticed one girl, with mousy hair and a pointed, elvin face. She had the same eyes, small bead-like and blue, as the rest of the family, but she was standing at the edge, watching them, with rather the same expression as Sirius had when he watched his family.

The family came bustling past the window, and Sirius heard snatches of their conversation.

"- this is so weird-."

"- what is up with those owls?"

" - it's cool.. I'm jealous, Olympia.. will I get to go too? Will I?"

"I don't know!" Olympia snapped. She pulled out her ponytail, and the mousy hair came tumbling down to her shoulders. Pulling her hair back into a yet tighter ponytail, Sirius saw she had shadows beneath her eyes. There were two- no, three- smaller kids hanging next to her, and a slim, blonde women who Sirius assumed must be her mum, and scruffy, dark-haired man who was her dad? Neither parent resembled Olympia much, but they were clearly related, helping her with her trolley.

Olympia mumbled something Sirius couldn't hear.

"Of course you do," her Mum said. "I don't know why you're stressing out, Olympia. It's only Hogwarts; Dad took you into this world all the time, I thought."

"Yeah, when I was six," said Olympia. She looked around tearfully. "I don't want to be a freaking witch, Mum! I have friends back home who are all going to Oakbank, and all my family too-." Her eyes darted around the group.

Sirius leant forward out of the window, eager to catch every word. How could anyone not want to go to Hogwarts? It would be brilliant and exciting and fresh and full of new starts and adventures? Sirius screwed up his nose, imagining spending hours sitting in 'Oakbank' school, some Muggle place, he was betting, where they learnt dumb things like adding up numbers, and learning about places on the other side of world where no one here would go. Muggles were silly. Why would Olympia want to live like a Muggle?

"That girl's nuts," Sirius said, swinging round towards James. "You hear what she was saying?"

"No. I was eating," James monotoned. "Food is important," he said, as Sirius laughed.

"Well, she didn't want to go to Hogwarts!" Sirius said. "I mean, come on. Who wouldn't want to go to Hogwarts?"

"Pretty stupid," James agreed. "Hogwarts has things happen in it... you get bored of just your parents and house elves, y'know? Yep, that girl's mad."

"Hey, isn't that offensive?" Sirius said. "Acting like the mad aren't proper people?"

"You _aren't_ a real person," James said.

"Oy!" Sirius said, chucking a chocolate frog at him.

"Careful!" James laughed. "Those are prank frogs! After a few hours, your face goes blue. That's why I didn't offer you any." Sirius' mouth fell open. "You can have sugar quills, though," James went on cheerfully._ Why had he eaten them? WHY?_ "Oh my god, you're so gullible," James shouted, and Sirius hurled another frog at him.

"I will get revenge," Sirius muttered. "But for now, why don't we eavesdrop on the mad girl?"

He couldn't see Olympia, or her family, however much he searched the station. There was two sisters, a grandmother, a father, and three boys with blonde hair, a girl and mother in a headscarf, two blonde seventh years who come alone, chatting away, a little dark-skinned girl with pigtail chasing after a toad, two families with five children altogether chatting and laughing, a girl with dark hair falling around her shoulder, and pale skin, staring right at him, black eyes glinting in anger-

He had forgotten about Bellatrix.

**(1) I know, technically, that the motto wasn't changed until the marauders' second year (I looked it up on Wiki), but, I don't know, they were considering changing the motto and Sirius found out? Yeah, that sounds okayish.**


	3. Bellatrix

"What, you scared of her?" James said. "She's just your cousin."

Sirius pulled away from the window, dodging down, as though that would wipe the memory of him from Bellatrix's mind. Blushing slightly, he looked at his feet.

"I am _not_ scared of Bellatrix," he said. Untruthfully. "She's over-reacts worse than you do, though."

He drifted towards the door. He was not scared of Bellatrix. He was not scared of Bellatrix. At first, Sirius had planned to drag his trunk and run, but it would look like he had been lying. And also, he liked the idea of Bellatrix bursting into the carriage expecting him to be long gone really, only coming to drill James- and seeing him, totally nonchalant, chatting and laughing. That will be brilliant.

It would be worth the way she'd slash his face, and shake him and shout at him, just for her expression as she opened the door.

"Give me that frog," Sirius said. James tossed it over. He had the expression of one who is about to watch an funny TV show, eager and ready to laugh. James was imagining that Bellatrix would be funny, when angry, and that his fright would be even funnier.

"Hey, Sirius, if you must, you can have my Invisibility Cloak," said James lazily.

That would still make him seem scared and pathetic.

He could hear footsteps outside, and the drag of the cloak. Nobody but adult wizards wore cloaks. Students hadn't changed into the uniform yet.

Why should he try to hide from her? What could Bellatrix do to him here? He bit the head of the chocolate frog, savouring the sweetness.

"Nah, who's scared of the big, bad wolf?" Sirius joked, stretching out on the seat. He made sure to laugh at his own joke, really loudly, so Bellatrix couldn't avoid hearing, so she didn't go to next carriage.

"That wasn't that funny," James said, and Sirius collapsed into almost hysterics. "Hmm. I think we have another madman, for sure."

"We should make a club. The mad, bad, MUGGLE-LOVING club," Sirius sniggered. "Because we're mad, bad AND WE LOVE MUGGLES!" If Bellatrix couldn't hear that, she had to be deaf.

"Could you be any more obvious?" James said, but he was sniggering too.

There had been a squeak as the door opened, but Sirius didn't hear it. He had positioned himself so he was looking away from the door, so his uncaring act of laughing could be more realistic. It was only then Sirius turned and saw his cousin standing in the doorway. If looks could kill, his ghost would have been petrified by a basalisk.

"Oh, hello, Bella," Sirius said. He thought he sounded pretty confident and uncaring- and Bellatrix looked shocked aright. "What's up, cousin?"

Her dark ringlets were falling around her face, her sickly pale skin stretched over her corpse like elastic, like white stone greying and wearing away. Her wand was pointing between his eyes, and he went cross-eyed looking at it.

"You know what's up, you arrogant piece of shit!" Bellatrix said. "You may be joking, but you are disgracing the noble family of Black. Joking or not.. publicly shouting that you love Muggles... You need to learn a lesson, fast, Sirius. And painfully." Though quiet, her voice echoed around the carriage, fury in every syllable. Quickly, she went to shut the window with a bang, and the babble of talk from the station diminished to faint murmur.

Sirius risked a glance at James. He was still grinning.

"Any preferences with Healers?" he said. "What's the mental ward called, Sirius?"

Woah. Sirius whistled slightly, impressed and amused. It felt so good to have someone who wasn't afraid of Bellatrix, not one bit.

"What did you say?!"

"I asked who your Healer was," James said. "Don't you know mentally ill people go to hospital?"

"Ah, yes," said Bellatrix, her wand now aimed at James. "You're Potter's son! Your father is a brave man, but as cocksure and arrogant and idiotic as you! You can still choose a different path, Potter. Only eleven. You could become great yet!" She laughed, a manic laugh only Bellatrix could do.

"Right. By great, you mean a slave of that sociopath Voldie, eh?"

"How dare you?!" screamed Bellatrix. James drew his wand with the smirk on his face, and dived under Bellatrix's first curse, laughing. The second curse hit him in the heart, and his legs and arms snapped together. James hung on the spot for a moment, then his body toppled backwards and he landed with a crack. All that moved were his eyes, behind the glasses which had knocked askew.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "Body-bind? Going soft, are you, Bella?"

"He's just a nuisance," Bellatrix said. "But, if you insist..." Bellatrix sent him flying into the air, then dropped him with another crash. A drop of scarlet blood drizzled out from his hair. "Stupefy," Bellatrix finished lazily, and the spark in his eyes vanished.

"You do realise I know "_finite incantatem_." I'm not going to start howling that he's dead, Bella-Della."

"Glad to hear you aren't completely Muggle then."

"No, but James and I, we're creating a pranking, Muggle-lovers club. Sorry, you can't join, no Slytherin allo-."

Bellatrix had struck him across the face. It was only a hex, but his face was stinging violently. When he put his hand to it, he could feel the stickiness of the wound, and it disgusted him.

"No Slytherins allowed," Sirius finished, as cheerfully as he could manage when the pain was bringing tears to his eyes. He wanted to get an ice pack, and press it to his cheek to soothe the hot stinging, but even if he had one, he wouldn't show Bellatrix it hurt.

This time Bellatrix slashed his forehead, but instead of it being a mere moment of excruciating pain before it began to sting, she pressed what felt like an invisible burning coal to his head for almost a minute. Sirius didn't scream, but he knew if he opened his mouth, he would.

"That crucio?" Sirius said, once he could talk again. "Going illegal now?"

Bellatrix threw back her head and howled. "That crucio?" she imitated. "Oh, you naïve little dickhead. That was no where near crucio's pain, Sirius, no where near. This is just a stinging curse."

"Right," said Sirius between gritted teeth.

Bellatrix sent another curse at him, a different one. His knees bent backward, and he hit the floor, his legs sprawling at one directions. Now he could even dodge the curses.

"Repeat after me," Bellatrix said. "_Mudbloods and Muggles"_ -she slashed at him, and his arms began to bleed- "_are dirty and inferior to me" _- another slash. "_The Dark Lord"_ -slash- "_is our great leader"_- slash. "_One day I will join him"_- slash."

Now, his arms were smothered in his own blood. Sirius didn't speak. If anyone heard him, and recognised his voice, his social life at Hogwarts would be over before it began. Sirius wanted to break free, make new friends, so much.

"Say it," Bellatrix hissed.

"Mudbloods and Muggles are wonderful, beautiful and lovely-," Sirius began.

Bellatrix slowly, deliberately, raised her wand, and whispered, "Silencio. Crucio."

Sirius toppled backwards, his head hitting the floor with a crack. The pain was so intense, so all consuming; he didn't know who he was, or where or why. White-hot knives were piercing every inch of his skin, as he writhed, silently, on the floor. All Sirius wanted was it to end, for him to die.

Then, it was over, just as fast as it had began. He was crumpled on the floor, dazed and aching. The world was rocking slightly, as if he had spun and round, like a little child, but Sirius lay still, limp amd as unable to move as ragdoll. Acutely of every throbbing part of his body, Sirius shut his eyes. **(1)**

"Get up," Bellatrix said.

Bellatrix... Bellatrix torturing him... It came back in a rush of colour, and Sirius felt anger and defiance roll over him. He knew he was no match for Bellatrix in a duel, but he continued to lie there.

She reached for his hand and pulled him a few inches of the ground, before dropping him again. In a flash of inspiration, Sirius dropped back down, pretending to be dead. Bellatrix wouldn't want to kill him, he knew that

"Get _up_," she snapped.

He detected an edge of fear in her voice.

Sirius didn't move.

"Now!"

Out of the corner of his eye, Sirius could see her looking round, biting her lip. It took a lot of self-control not to smirk.

She dropped to her knees, and placed a hand on his chest, leaning her dark head towards his heart. Her hand was as cold as her face was when Sirius swung up his arm and slapped her. The slap echoed loudly round the compartment; and Sirius gave a bark of dog-like laughter.

"You really thought I was dead, Bellatrix?" he said, scrambling to his feet.

He expected her to start cursing and attacking him again, but to his surprise, she said, "Yes. A clever tactic, if you're disarmed and helpless, pretending to be dead, and leaping up when your enemy leans down to check your heartbeat. Naturally, I'd expect you master wandless magic before you leave Hogwarts. You don't want to act like a dirty Muggle animal too often.

Bellatrix raised her wand, and casually mended Sirius' wounds, till even the scars were gone.

"Never do that to me again, Sirius," she said. "But it was a clever tactic."

She smiled coldly at him, though her black eyes were as emotionless as ever.

"Make me proud, Sirius. You have so much potential to. You're clever, strong, brave, and if you channelled your skills in the right direction, you could be great. Tell me, Sirius, what are Muggles and Mudbloods?"

"Beautiful and brilliant?" he quibbled. His bones were still aching, so he changed it quickly to, "er, I mean, dirty and inferior."

"Say it properly," said Bellatrix.

"Muggles and Mudbloods are dirty and inferior." Under his breath, he added, "and beautiful and bril-."

"Silencio. Crucio," Bellatrix said.

Again, he toppled over, and screamed inside. Writhing, his body on fire, the pain swallowing him... It lasted a split second, but he grew another year in that second. Aching, he rolled over and threw up over himself; but the pain was so deadly he didn't care.

"Say it," Bellatrix said.

He could speak again, and feeling Bellatrix's wand pressed against his throat, he said, like it was a mantra:

"Muggles and Mudbloods are dirty and inferior to me. The Dark Lord is our great leader. One day I will join him."

And Bellatrix swept out of the room, leaving him panting, as if he'd run a mile, sore and dizzy.

**A/N: (1) First, I wasn't sure how to describe the curse, so I used phrases from the books. Also, I know Harry reacted a bit better to it than Sirius; he was aware of where he was and all afterwards, and able to think pretty quickly, but Sirius is eleven- that makes Bellatrix's treatment of him particularly brutal, because Sirius could be permanently damaged.**

**Also, please, please, please, can you review? It would mean the world to me. It so disappointing, to have no response at all.**


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